


Anything Could Happen

by rw_eaden



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Phone Conversations, Bottom Dean, Closeted Dean, Coming out of the Closet, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Normal World AU, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, cruise ship au, its literally on a ship, tipsy sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 01:36:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6136813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rw_eaden/pseuds/rw_eaden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean isn't going to waste his cruise ship tickets, but taking his best friend, (and secret crush) Cas, may not have been a good idea if he didn't want their relationship to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This piece contains a scene in which characters get tipsy and have sex. No one gets black-out drunk or anything, but if post-drinking sex makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you not read this. You have been warned.  
> \--- Thanks to @profoundfall on Tumblr for the AU suggestion.

Growing up in the middle of Podunk Nowhere, Kansas, Dean had gotten a pretty good view of the stars on clear nights, but out here, in the middle of the ocean, the sky became a limitless, glittering expanse. He found himself, staring up at the sky, dizzy at the sudden realization that the world was so big and yet so small all at once. Cas laughed at him as he leaned, mouth gaping, over the rail.

“It’s just so…big” he had muttered, “I never really realized that the sky had so many stars in it. How’s that even possible?”

“It’s amazing what you can see when you get a little distance,” Cas said.

Cas was also leaning over the rail, his chin tucked into his hands, his lips turned up in a small smile. He was glowing in the moonlight, looking downright angelic as the silvery light shone through the collar and sleeves of his shirt.

Dean hadn’t planned this. Not at all. This cruise was supposed to be his honeymoon, but when Jo broke it off eight months before the wedding, the date to get a refund for the tickets had already passed. Sam and Jess originally agreed to take the tickets, but a week later they found out she was pregnant and didn’t want to risk going into labor on a cruise ship. His mother outright refused; she got seasick too easy. No one else wanted them, and he didn’t have a girlfriend to take with him. It was a last ditch effort to ask Cas. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Cas, it was the exact opposite. Cas was his best friend, and when they were younger, he might’ve even had a crush on him, if he were completely honest with himself. No, Cas was a last ditch effort because he didn’t exactly like the idea of taking his best friend on what was supposed to be a honeymoon cruise and banishing him to the couch or the floor for two weeks.

“Yeah,” Dean whispered. The water beneath them was as black as the sky above, and their tiny little cruise ship seemed to be floating not just in the middle of the ocean, but in the middle of space as well. It was as if the rest of the world ceased to exist; as if there were nothing and no one but them. It was unsettling, but not unwelcome. Here, out in the middle of nowhere, anything could happen.

Cas was sighing. His contented hums were barely audible, but still enough to jar Dean out of his thoughts. His hands were only a few inches away from Cas’s elbow. His pinky twitched suddenly as the urge to put his hand on Cas’s struck him. If he were completely honest with himself, that tiny little crush he had on Cas never really went away. He’d get these urges, every once in a while, just to touch him. They started out as fleeting thoughts; to hold his hand, to brush his hair from his eyes. Then they grew so something more, to an uncomfortable desire in the pit of his stomach to touch him, anywhere and everywhere, to taste his tongue, to run his fingertips on the ridges of his spine. So many times he wound up staring at Cas, his lips, his sharp blue eyes, his hips, all while his thoughts ran the gamut from innocent to triple X.

Cas never noticed, or if he did, he never said anything. Jo, on the other hand, always did. She was definitely jealous of the way he looked at Cas. What would she say now, if she could see the two of them, together on the cruise that was meant for her? But it’s not like anything was going to happen. It wouldn’t. It couldn’t. Then again, in the middle of the ocean, away from everyone and everything, anything could happen. An uncertainty began to surge in his chest. His skin tingled and his insides twitched. Nervous energy surged through his body. He had to do something now, or he’d start vibrating. He put his foot on the middle railing and began to climb up.

“Dean, what are you doing!” Cas gasped, moving away from the railing.

“I dunno,” he said. Both his feet were on the middle rail, his hands still gripping the top rail.

“Get down, you could fall.” Cas’s voice was stern.

“No, I won’t,” he said, easing one hand off the rail.

“Stop!”

Dean’s knees wobbled. He glanced down at the water below, suddenly aware that he was, at least, two hundred feet above the water. He slammed his hand back down on the cold metal as his left foot slid a few inches. “Shit!”

Cas was on top of him in an instant, he arms curled around his waist. “I got you,” he said.

His legs trembled as he clung to the rail. His knuckles went white.

“It’s ok, Dean, just put your foot down,” Cas said. Dean could feel his hot breath on his back.

It took what seemed like hours for him to move his foot back on the deck. His heart raced as he eased it back down. When both feet were back on the wood he let out a long, shaky sigh.

“You can let go now, Cas.” Cas’s arms were still wrapped around his middle, clutching tightly.

Cas let go and Dean turned around, flashing a hesitant smile. Cas socked him in the arm. “What the hell was that?”

“Ow.” Cas hit hard. “What was that for?”

“You tell me,” Cas said, his gravelly voice edged with a slight tremble.

“King of the World?” Dean shrugged.

“What the hell is that?”

“Seriously? Titanic?”

“I’ve never seen it,” Cas’s lips were pursed in a tight sneer, his blue eyes lined with deep crow’s feet.

“Really, dude? Like ever? Not even the car scene?”

Cas rolled his eyes.

“Never mind.” Dean shook his head and batted the air. “Maybe we should just head back to the room, it’s getting late.”

The honeymoon suite was on the Diamond deck, about three below the sky deck. Dean had gone all out on the room, opting for champagne delivery with personalized, monogrammed flutes, complimentary robes and slippers, spa appointments, and of course, a balcony view. The room was much different from when they first entered in the morning to drop off their bags. White pillar candles sat unlit on the tables, a trail of red rose petals lay on the floor, leading to the bedroom, and bottle of champagne rested in a pail of ice on the breakfast nook.

“Fancy,” Dean said, flicking on the lights.

“Very romantic,” Cas said, coming in behind him.

“Yeah, well, what can I say?” He shrugged.

“Jo’s really missing out,” Cas said.

“I guess.” Dean shrugged. He wasn’t still upset about Jo. They had been high school sweethearts and he just expected that they’d be together forever. The fact that they had been drifting apart made the break-up easier to deal with, but still, it kinda sucked. Not necessarily that they weren’t together anymore, but because he had tried so hard to keep it together and it fell right through his fingers.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Dean. How much did this cost?” Cas asked, stooping down to pick up a few of the petals.

“Money’s not a big deal,” Dean said.

Cas rubbed one of the petals between his fingers. “It’s such a shame that all this is going to go to waste.”

“Doesn’t have to.”

Cas squinted at him over his shoulder; his eyes piercing Dean’s flesh. A shudder ran down Dean’s spine and settled as a tingle in his lower back. “Not all of it I mean. We could kill the champagne if you want.” The words fell out of his mouth as Cas rose to his feet.

Cas ran a single finger over his bottom lip. “We could do that.”

Dean ripped the gold foil off the top of the bottle and set to pulling the cork out. It was wedged in tight. Perhaps it was the sudden influx of nerves as Cas walked towards him until their shoulders brushed against each other, or perhaps his palms were still sweaty from the rail incident, but he couldn’t get the cork out. He was just about to clamp his teeth around it when Cas took it out of his hands. With a jerk of his wrist and a resounding pop the cork came out. Foam gushed from the top, pouring down the neck and on top Cas’s hand. He was standing too close to the bottle and a light spritz of fizz and alcohol sprayed across his face. He set the bottle down on the counter and shook the foam his hand. Dean gulped, a tingle running through his hips. His cheeks grew warm as Cas pulled his shirt up to wipe his face, exposing the thin line of dark hair on his stomach. 

Dean chugged the first glass of champagne, mostly out of nerve and partly out of habit. He always thought champagne tasted like nail polish remover and the more expensive it was the worse it tasted. This particular bottle really tasted like shit. By the second glass, they had moved from the counter to the couch against the far wall, and their conversation resumed their usual casual tone.

“You know, this stuff isn’t all that bad,” Cas said, his eyes fixed on the tiny bubbles in his glass.

“You’re kidding, right? If I hadn’t already paid for it I’d pour it down the drain.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“It tastes like ass.”

“And how would you know?” Cas tilted his head, his lips turned in a slick smile.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Cas raised his eyebrows and snickered. “Really?”

“What?” Dean pursed his lips, attempting to hide the guilty smile creeping across his face. He took another swig of champagne.

“Nothing,” Cas shook his head, “I guess I just don’t know the great Dean Winchester like I thought I did.”

“Obviously.”

“But you know what I do know?” Cas asked, setting the glass down on the floor next to the couch.

“What’s that?”

Cas leaned against the arm of the couch. “You’re the best person I know.”

Dean sputtered champagne. “Stop it.” He shook his head.

“No, I’m serious,” Cas said, leaning in close and Dean could feel his soft, liquor laced breath on his skin. “You’re so damn smart. And funny. And you’re the kindest, most compassionate person I’ve ever met. Sometimes I wonder if you’re even real or if I’ve gone crazy and this is all a hallucination.”

“You’re gonna give me a big head.”

“It’s true, every word of it.”

“I think you’re a little tipsy, Cas,” Dean said, rubbing his face.

“I might be, but that doesn’t mean I don’t mean it. I really do, Dean.” He was leaning in a little closer, his face only inches away. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. Remember when I came out in college and my mother wouldn’t let me come home? You were the only person to take me in without question. And when Lisa had her baby, you drove her to the hospital and bought her all those baby clothes, and then you babysat for months until he was old enough to go to daycare. And he wasn’t even your baby. And don’t get me started on all the times I’ve seen you slip your tips to the homeless people that walking to the diner.”

Dean’s cheeks were burning. He chewed at his bottom lip and dropped his head. “Yeah, well, I’m also loser spending his would-be honeymoon with his best friend.”

Cas leaned back and crossed his arms, glaring at Dean. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” Dean threw the last of the champagne down his throat, avoiding Cas’s gaze.

“That. Anyone tells you something nice and you brush it off. Just like earlier. We were having a pleasant conversation and you decide to what? Throw yourself off the boat? What the hell?”

Dean stood up, “Come on man, it’s not like that. I wasn’t going to throw myself off the boat, I just wanted to see what it was like to be up that high is all.” He turned towards the counter and Cas jerked to his feet, his hand clamping down on Dean’s wrist.

“You’re scared of heights, Dean.”

Shit. He was right. “Well, maybe I felt like it was a good time to face my fears.” Shit. He’d fucked up the second the words tumbled past his lips.

Cas was smirking. “Bullshit.”

“Would you let go of my wrist please?” Dean asked, wrenching against Cas’s grip. Cas let go. Dean poured himself another glass of champagne. Cas was still standing by the couch, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I’m still waiting for you to tell me what’s wrong.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean put the glass up to his lips.

“You do this shit when you’re uncomfortable.” Cas started across the floor. He was always so graceful and deliberate when he moved, almost regal. He stopped inches from Dean’s face, staring him down. Dean’s skin prickled. “So what is it?”

“Nothing,” Dean said, averting Cas’s gaze. Cas set one hand on Dean’s jaw and pulled him close. Dean could feel Cas’s steady breathing on his lips.

“What’s wrong?” Cas’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

Dean closed his eyes. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe he was just tired of hiding it, of the quiet longing that tugged at the back of his mind whenever they were in the same room, or maybe he just couldn’t think of a good enough lie. “I just…when you’re around…Cas, I don’t want to fuck up our friendship,” he whispered.

Suddenly, Cas’s hand left his jaw and the soft puffs of breath left his lips. He opened his eyes. Cas was standing there, eyes wide. “What are you saying?” Cas asked, his mouth agape.

“Don’t make me say it.” Dean’s voice trembled. Maybe there was some way to make it out of this with some dignity. “Just forget I ever said anything, okay?”

That’s when it happened. Cas’s hands were clamped around the sides of his face, his soft lips pressed into Dean’s. Dean’s entire body went rigid.

Cas pulled away suddenly. “Oh my God,” he gasped, “did I read that wrong? Oh my God, Dean, I…”

Dean’s hand was on the back of Cas’s neck in an instant. He pulled Cas into a feverish kiss, parting Cas’s lips with his tongue. Cas’s palms pressed into Dean’s back as they ground into each other, hip to hip, chest to chest. Dean could feel Cas’s heart pounding against his own chest. Cas pulled away first, his teeth tugging at Dean’s bottom lip.

“Holy shit,” Dean said, breathless.

They stared at each other for a moment, basking in the heat radiating off each other’s body.

“Cas, I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to destroy our friendship over this,” Dean said.

“Well then, maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore,” Cas said.

“What are you…”

Cas’s tongue shot out, darting across Dean’s lips just once. Dean hooked his fingers into Cas’s belt loops and kissed him again, slower this time, savoring the taste of Cas’s lips against his own. He pulled back, peppering Cas’s neck with tiny kisses as Cas’s hands traveled up his back and onto the nape of his neck. Dean found a sensitive spot on Cas’s neck, just behind his ear and Cas groaned and bucked his hips ever so lightly.

“You know, maybe you’re right,” Dean said, his lips hovering above Cas’s earlobe. Dean nipped at Cas’s earlobe just once, then pulled back. Cas’s eyes were dark, glazed over, ravenous. “If you’re sure, you know. If you want to,”

“Shut up,” Cas said lacing his fingers through Dean’s hair and jerk his head up. Dean gasped as Cas’s tongue slid down his neck, stopping only when Dean’s shirt prevented him from going any further. Cas raised his head and their eyes met.

The room was still, their slow, labored breathing the only sound. In that moment, the world stopped turning. This was it, there would be no going back either way. All the years of what Dean had brushed off as a harmless crush, all those lingering looks, every last dirty thought, could mean something, or they could mean nothing. Dean’s hands were shaking as he ran them up Cas’s sides until he rested them on his face, his thumbs brushing against Cas’s cheeks. Cas leaned in, and as their lips touched, it was is like the oxygen in the room combusted.

Cas’s nimble fingers undid the buttons on Dean’s shirt. Dean sucked on Cas’s earlobe as he ran his fingernails down Cas’s back. Dean pulled Cas by the belt loops as he back into the bedroom, stopping only when his thighs hit the foot of the bed. His hands trembled as he unzipped Cas’s jeans. Cas shoved Dean against the bed, and he tumbled over the rail at the end of the bed and plopped against the mattress.

“Damn, Cas,” he gasped as Cas vaulted over the wooden panel and straddled his thighs.

Cas latched onto Dean’s neck, sucking and biting like a starving animal. A ridged gasp sputtered from Dean’s lips and he ran his fingers through Cas’s hair. Cas groaned and pressed his crotch into Dean’s, rocking his hips softly. Dean let his hand ghost across the bulge in Cas’s jeans. Cas’s low groan vibrated against Dean’s skin.

Cas sat up, struggling to get his shirt over his head. Dean rose to help him, planting light kisses on the exposed flesh of his chest as he rose up. The locked into another desperate kiss as Dean threw Cas’s shirt across the room. Dean moaned softly as Cas continued to buck his hips into Dean.

“Good, God, Cas,” Dean sighed.

“You like?” Cas’s whispered into Dean’s ear as ran a single finger down his spine.

Dean moaned in response. His thighs and hips tingled, the friction on his erection was starting to get uncomfortable.

“Cas, pants,” was all he managed to stutter out as Cas began drawing wet circles around his nipples with his tongue.

He pushed Dean back down on the bed and tore at Dean’s jeans, jerking them and his boxers down in one fluid motion. He leaned back a bit, his lips twisted in a wicked smile.

“Well, what do we have here?” He taunted, rubbing his thumb over the head of Dean’s dick.

Dean let out a shuttered moan and threw his head against the mattress. Cas hummed softly to himself, dragging his fingertips against the shaft while running his nails over the inside of Dean’s thigh.

“God,” Dean muttered.

Cas wrapped his fingers around the shaft and began pumping up and down, slowly at first. Dean’s whole body shuddered as Cas picked up speed, running his thumb across the tip. The tension rose in Dean’s thighs. He bucked up into Cas’s hand and Cas shoved his hips back against the bed with his free hand.

“Cas, please,” Dean gasped, pawing at the bed sheets. He wasn’t going to last.

“Please, what?”

“Please,” Dean sighed, “I need to touch you.” The last syllable came out as a low moan, laced with longing.

Cas let go of Dean’s cock briefly and stripped quickly. His dick bounced out of his boxers, slapping against his stomach. Dean reached up and wrapped his fist around Cas’s cock, jerking it towards him. A thin strand of pre-cum dribbled down the head and onto Dean’s fist. Cas sighed and picked went back to stroking Dean fiercely. The two of them fell into rhythm quickly, stroking each other in perfect synchronicity. The atmosphere became thick with the musky aroma of sex and a crescendo of deep, yearning moans. Dean hit his peak first, arching his back off the mattress, dragging Cas’s name out as long as he could. He laid back limp, still pumping on Cas until he too, after a low growl, was spent.

Cas collapsed onto Dean’s chest. Neither of them said anything as they basked in the afterglow, clinging to one another. Cas fell asleep first, his arm wrapped around Dean’s chest. Dean breathed in the sweet scent of Cas’s raven hair, running his hands across Cas’s back until he fell asleep.

Dean woke first the next morning. Cas had rolled off him in the middle of the night and was lying in a tangle of sheets. Dean chuckled to himself and his smoothed Cas’s messy bedhead. Maybe having his best friend on a honeymoon cruise was going to work out after all.


	2. Toto, I Don't Think We're on the Cruise Ship Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, the consequences.   
> Dean and Cas have had their fun on the ship but now that they're back on dry land, Dean finds himself in a sort of limbo. He's not sure how to define this new relationship with Cas and he's not sure how to tell anyone about it, or even if he should. The fact that Cas isn't answering his phone and a chance encounter with Jo doesn't help matters much either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to SingingWithSherlock for the suggestion to continue this work. I've decided to take a more story-oriented direction with this work. There isn't any smut in this chapter but there will be in later chapters.

Dean rubbed his eyes and leaned against the cool brick wall of the Dwight D. Eisenhower airport, still groggy from the flight. He didn’t usually fall asleep on planes, but this time, he didn’t have much of a choice. He hadn’t slept much on the last night aboard the cruise ship. After yet another sexual escapade with Cas, he spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, floating between light sleep and busy worry. He hadn’t intended to have sex with Cas – well technically he didn’t have full on sex, it was just masturbation and blow jobs – but now that he had, things would have to be different. It wasn’t that he didn’t want it to. Of course, he did. Cas was wonderful; kind, compassionate, snarky, intelligent, and goddamn what he could do with his tongue, but he hadn’t exactly told anyone he had ever been interested in guys. There wasn’t really a point up until now; he was supposed to marry a woman so it wasn’t exactly like he’d ever have the chance to indulge his desires. But now…what would his mother say? She was a pretty liberal woman, but still, there was always the chance that she’d freak out. And his dad, good God, his dad. That was a conversation he didn’t anticipate.

“Dean, are you alright?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, Cas, just tired,” Dean said.

“Did I wear you out?” Cas smirked, nudging Dean with his shoulder.

Dean smiled in spite of himself. “Shut up.”

Cas leaned back against the wall next to Dean, the smirk slowly evaporating from his lips. “Dean…”

A dust coated green van pulled up to the sidewalk. Mary, Dean’s mom, honked the horn and waved, a smile plastered across her face. Dean and Cas made their way to the back of the car while Mary hoped out and rushed over to them. She threw her arms around Dean and squeezed his middle.

“God, mom, it’s only been a few weeks,” Dean said, wrapping his arm around her.

“Well, I couldn’t tell seeing as how you never visit me anymore.”

“I had dinner with you a few weeks ago,” Dean scoffed.

“First time in ages. It’s okay, you just don’t love you poor old mother anymore.” She pulled away and gave him a facetious smirk. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Good to see you again, Cas,” Mary said, pulling him into a hug as well.

“It’s good to see you too, Mrs. Singer,” he said.

“When are you going to start calling me Mary, young man?” She asked.

“Sorry, Mary,” Cas said. Dean chuckled.

Cas and Dean loaded their bags into the back of the van as Mary climbed back into the driver’s seat. Their hands brushed against each other’s just once.

Dean took the front passenger’s seat and Cas sat in the row behind him. Mary pulled away from the airport and set out on the highway for the three-hour drive back to Lawrence.

“So did you two enjoy yourselves?” She asked as they merged on the interstate.

“Yeah, we had a pretty good time, I’d say,” Dean said, glancing back at Cas.

A wry smile snaked its way across Cas’s lips as he turned towards the window. “I would say so.”

“How was the flight?” Mary asked.

Dean shrugged. “Alright. Mostly slept.”

“Really? How much did you have to drink?” She asked.

“I didn’t.”

Mary looked over at her son, eyebrows raised. “You slept on a plane while sober?”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?”

“Nothing. I just didn’t expect it with your fear of flying is all. Remember when you were six and you started crying because you were afraid of the Dumbo ride at Disney Land?”

“Mom!”

Cas snickered behind him.

“What?” Mary asked. “I’m just saying, even as a child you were neurotic about that sort of thing. I’m just a little surprised is all.”

“Yeah, well, I was tired.” Dean shifted in his seat, crossing his arms and leaning towards the window.

“I would have thought your little cruise would’ve left you well rested.”

Dean could feel her side-eye glance on his skin. “It was. But there’s a lot of stuff to do you know? Swimming and dancing and stuff takes a lot out of you.”

“Hmmm.” Mary nodded.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Mary said in a sing-song voice.

Dean’s stomach sank a bit. He wiped a damp palm against his jeans. He wasn’t really that obvious was he? She couldn’t know. Could she?

“Cas, Dean didn’t kick you out for a hook-up, did he?” Mary asked, glancing in the rearview.

“Oh my God, Mom!” Dean’s cheeks blazed.

“Well did you?”

“No. God, Mom. Just because I was tired doesn’t mean I hooked up with anyone.”

Mary laughed. “I’m still waiting to hear from Cas.”

Dean shook his head and bit the inside of his cheek. His mother was going to be the death of him.

“Dean didn’t bring any strange women into our cabin,” Cas said flatly.

“What about un-strange women?”

“Mom! Do we really have to talk about this?” Dean’s voice cracked. It was like he was sixteen again, sitting down with his mother to have “the talk” which consisted of way more talk about anatomy and “what some women like” and “what some men like” than he had ever wanted to hear from his mother.

Mary chuckled, her shoulders shaking. She was enjoying this way too much. “I’m sorry sweetie, but if I didn’t give you a hard time you’d think there was something wrong with me.”

Yeah, okay, but she didn’t have to bring up his sex life. Ever.

“How’s Jessica doing?” Cas asked.

“Oh, she’s doing great,” Mary said.

Dean breathed a silent thanks to Cas. Mary proceeded to tell them about everything they had missed in the past two weeks, which in reality wasn’t a whole lot, but Mary could talk about nothing for hours. Jess was, apparently, very tired of being pregnant and neither she nor Sam could decide for sure what they were going to name their baby. They had chosen to wait until delivery to know the sex of the baby, which was driving Mary crazy because it meant she wasn’t sure if she should get pink or blue clothes and blankets. Dean nodded off sometime after she and Cas began discussing neutral baby colors.

Dean awoke when Mary shut the car off. He grumbled and sat up. They were parked in front of his apartment building. He turned around to find an empty seat behind him.

“Where’s Cas?” He asked.

“Oh, I dropped him off a while ago. He didn’t want to wake you,” Mary said.

“Oh.” Dean couldn’t help the disappointment that crept into his voice. “You could’ve woken me.”

“Cas is a big boy, he can let himself into his own apartment.”

“Yeah.” Dean stretched and shook his wrist. His arm had fallen asleep and now sharp tingles were shooting through his fingers. “Well, thanks for the ride, mom.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

She handed him the keys and he unlocked the trunk. He carried his bags on one side to avoid the pain pressure on his tingling arm caused. He returned his mother’s keys through the driver’s side window.

“You’re coming to supper tomorrow, right.” She more stated than asked.

“Of course, mom, wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good. You get some rest now, baby.”

“Right, mom.”

“I love you,” she shouted as he passed in front of the car.

“Love you, too,” he hollered back.

Dean’s apartment was on the third floor and of course, the elevator was out of order, so he pulled his rolling suitcase up three flights of stairs, drawing annoyed looks from neighbors every time it thumped against another stair. It was a little after seven when he opened the door to his dark apartment. A stack of unopened mail sat on the end table closest to the couch and the grubby little fern in the window wasn’t dead, so, at least, Charlie, his neighbor, had stopped by the place a few times while he was gone. He dumped his bags near the front door. He’d deal with them tomorrow. Right now, all he wanted was something to eat and sprawl out in bed. After flicking on the light and scarfing down a hot pocket, he threw his sweats on and laid down in bed. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was no longer tired.

He lay in bed for about an hour, tossing and turning under the sheets, willing himself to sleep. His bed felt alien. The springs creaked as he sat up in bed. He’d never considered that himself to be high-maintenance, he never had the opportunity to be, but if he was honest, he missed the cruise ship bed. He missed the way the Egyptian cotton felt against his legs, the way the memory foam cradled him while he slept, the silky pillow covers. And he missed Cas. He missed Cas’s arms around his waist, his nose nuzzled into the crease of his neck and soft, warm breaths tickling his skin. God, when did he become so clingy? It wasn’t like he was going to ask Cas to move in with him, especially not right away. They may have known each other forever, but that was a little too fast. Then again, they hadn’t really even defined their relationship, or whether it was even a relationship. Sure they were best friends, and now lovers, but they hadn’t said anything about being boyfriends. They hadn’t really said anything about the whole situation. He and Jo muddled through a couple of dates and a few kisses before they were an official couple, but that was back in high school. Were things supposed to be different when you were an adult?

He’d talk to Cas in the morning, then he could decide whether or not he had anything to worry about.

****

Cas wasn’t answering his phone. By the time Dean climbed into the car and headed to his mom’s house, he’d called, at least, three times. He debated texting once more when he pulled into the driveway but decided he’d come off a little clingy. His mother was waiting for him at the door when he knocked.

“I was beginning to think you got lost on your way to the front door,” she said, swinging the door open.

“What?”

“You turned the car off ages ago,” she said, pulling him into a hug.

“I was just checking something,” he said.

The two of them made their way out of the front hall and into the living room where Sam and Jess were sitting on the old leather couch, watching television and chatting amongst themselves.

“Heya, Sammy. Hi, Jess.”

Sam rose from his seat and stretched out a hand to help Jess off the couch. She batted his hand away. “I’m not getting up. If he wants a hug he can come to me,” she said.

“Someone’s grouchy,” Dean scoffed.

“It took someone five minutes to finally figure out how to sit down,” Jess snarked back.

Dean walked over to Jess and bent to hug her. She scotched forward and threw her arms around his neck, knocking him off balance. He braced himself against the couch on either side of her.

“Uh, Jess, do you think you could let me go now?” He asked.

“Why would I do that?”

“Cause I’m in a weird position?”

“So?”

“It’s uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you’re uncomfortable,” she jeered, letting go of his neck. She smiled wide. She had put on a little weight during her pregnancy but it fleshed out her cheeks and made her smile even more impish.

“Hey, it’s not my fault. Blame this one over here,” he said, slapping Sam on the shoulder.

“Hey boys, you want a beer?” Bobby’s booming voice called from the kitchen.

“Sure, Bobby,” Dean responded. Sam declined, stating he was on driving duty in case the baby came.

Bobby came out of the kitchen, a beer in each fist. He handed one sweating bottle to Dean and uncapped it with the bottle opener on his keychain.

“’Bout damn time you three are over here at the same time. Your mother has been complaining about family time for months,” he stated, sitting down in the recliner in the corner of the room.

“Again, blame this one.” Dean gestured to Sam.

Sam scoffed. “I can’t help that I’m busy. With work and the baby and landing that lecturer position in Wichita, we’ve been swamped. We just don’t have the time.”

“Better not let your mother hear that,” Bobby said taking a swig of beer.

Sam and Dean sat on the couch on either side of Jess. She laced her fingers through Sam’s in an instant and as silence settled in the room she rest her head against his arm. Sam’s shoulders relaxed and he kissed the top of her head. There was something tender in the way they looked at each other, something that seemed to radiate through their skin. Dean’s stomach grew uneasy, and his chest felt hollow. He sloshed back some beer to drown the uneasiness rising inside him. He checked his phone. Nothing.

There was a crash in the kitchen. “Dammit!”

Dean, Sam, and Bobby all jumped to their feet. Sam got to the kitchen first, with Dean close behind. Mary was standing in front of the open oven door, a death grip on the kitchen towel in her hand. Her lips and eyes were pinched shut and her shoulders rose and fell as she let out a deep breath. Shattered ceramic and potato slices lay at her feet.

“Are you alright?” The three men asked in unison.

“I’m fine. I just dropped the damn gratin,” she said tossing the towel on the counter.

“I’ll get the mop,” Bobby said.

Mary pressed the heels of her hands against her temples and nudged the oven door closed with her foot. “Dean, will you go with me to the store real quick?” She asked.

“Uhm, yeah, sure,” Dean said.

The grocery store was about fifteen minutes away from Mary’s house, and in all reality she didn’t need anyone to go with her, she just hated going anywhere by herself. Dean didn’t mind going with; he had always been a bit of a momma’s boy. It used to bother him when he was a child, but he stopped caring after a while. In some ways, his mother’s time and affections meant more to him than his father’s, not because he didn’t love his father, but because his father was often out of touch. After their divorce, John took a job driving freightliners across the country. That meant he was only home three days a month, if he was lucky, so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity to bond with John over much of anything really. The bonding came in the summer when John took his boys with him over the road, and they got to see little flashes of Americana on the open road. Out there they could make up for lost time as they zipped past rolling hills and large swaths of highway. Sure, they didn’t get the opportunity to toss a ball around or fish very often, but they could talk and laugh and sometimes they’d get a day or two where the storehouses were backed up or bad weather shut down cities and they could spend their time touring kitschy little tourist traps like wax museums and giant balls of twine. Of course, all that changed shortly after Dean turned fourteen. John met Kate and quit life on the road. They had a baby in no time and suddenly Dean was stuck in this weird limbo where his father was around more but so was his new wife and son. It was complicated, to say the least.

His mother, on the other hand, had remained relatively single until the boys were well into high school. She finally started dating Bobby when Sam was in his sophomore year of high school after both boys had insisted that they wanted her to be happy and didn’t mind that she went out on dates. Bobby was accommodating; he didn’t expect anything from the boys and he didn’t try to shoehorn himself into their lives any more than they we willing to allow, and he didn’t expect to be involved in everything that Sam and Dean shared with their mother, and he didn’t try to supplement John’s role when he was around. He let John and Mary handle the big things, like discipline, but he was always willing to listen if either Sam or Dean needed it. Bobby was actually the first person Dean went to when he was considering proposing to Jo, and of course, Bobby told him that he might want to hold off, just until the two of them got out of their teenage years. Of course, Dean didn’t listen. And when Jo broke it off and he called Bobby, Bobby didn’t chastise him or bad mouth Jo like other people did. He was nothing but patient. His mother, on the other hand, jumped aboard the Jo-hate train.

Mary has a bad habit of taking forever in the grocery store. When Dean and his mom walked through the sliding glass doors of the grocery store and right into the flower case, she had to stop and look at the flowers. “Do you think we should get any?” She asked, running her fingers of the leaves of some petunias.

“Why?” Dean asked.

“They would look nice on the dinner table, don’t you think?”

“Whatever, mom. What are we getting here anyway?”

“Something to replace the gratin,” she said, pushing the shopping cart past the flowers and towards the bread aisle. “Do you think we should get rolls?”

“Sure.” Dean shrugged.

Mary then spent a solid five minutes examining bags of marked down rolls from the store’s bakery. She picked up each clear package, fondling the rolls, turning the bag in every direction to check for any sign of mold. Dean rolled his eyes and checked his phone absently. “You in a hurry or something?” She asked, not peeling her attention away from the dinner rolls she was holding up.

“Just hungry,” he said.

Eventually, Mary set a package in the cart and continued down the aisle like she had all the time in the world.

“What exactly do we have time for before the ham’s done?” Dean asked as they strolled past the deli.

“Cheating,” his mother said. She turned down the rice aisle and stopped in front to the boxed mashed potatoes. “The real question is, how fancy do we want to cheat?”

Dean shrugged and leaned up against the boxes of pre-prepped rice and folded his arms. His mother had caught sight of the dozen or so different instant mashed potatoes with various flavor additions like bacon, chipotle pepper, and cheddar garlic. He let out a long, silent sigh as she hovered over them.

“Could you do me a favor?” She asked.

“What’s that?”

“Go down to the frozen section and pick out a pie. I forgot to get one earlier.”

“Frozen pie?”

“Yes.”

“That’s sacrilege.”

Mary chuckled. “Sweetheart, do you know how long it takes to make a pie from scratch? I haven’t made a pie since you were four.”

“You’re kidding.”

“’Fraid not,” she said, examining the back of a bag of instant garlic mashed red potatoes.

“My whole childhood is a lie, then?”

“’Fraid so.” Mary glanced over her shoulder, shooting her son a tight-lipped smirk.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes and walked off. He was standing in front of the clear doors of the freezer section, eyes darting back and forth between pecan and blackberry pie when he heard a familiar voice calling from behind. “Dean?”

He turned around to see Jo, standing in front of the ice cream sandwiches, leaning on her shopping cart.

“Jo?” Dean gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“Shopping. Same as you,” she said. She flashed a sweet smile and brushed her long, straw colored bangs from her eyes.

“You cut your hair,” Dean said.

“Yeah, cut and dyed it. I figured it was time for a change.”

“Looks good.” Dean turned his eyes back towards the pie.

“So, how’ve you been?” She asked.

Dean resisted the urge to groan. Some people could remain friends with their ex’s, but Dean wasn’t one.

“Fine,” he said. ”You?” Dean clenched his jaw and bit the inside of his cheek. He definitely wasn’t in the mood to exchange pleasantries with Jo.

“I’ve been, pretty good. I’m going to back to school. Still working part time at mom’s place,” She bobbed her head as she spoke. “And I’m seeing somebody,” she said.

Really? Why? Who the hell brings up their new boyfriend in front of their ex? Was she trying to make him jealous or something? Then again, this was Jo and she wasn’t the best when it came to filtering her thoughts before she spoke. But really?

He licked his lips, minding the scowl he could feel forming on his lips. “Good for you,” Dean said.

“Yeah. He’s great. His name is Cole. He’s ex-army. I think you’d like him.”

Like hell. “That’s good. I’m happy for you Jo.” Not really. It wasn’t like he wanted her to be miserable or anything, but he was still pissed off at her. Irrationally, probably, but he couldn’t help how he felt. And he damn sure didn’t want her back.

“What about you? Are you seeing anyone?” Oh, now she was just fishing. A pleasant little smile sat on her lips. Smug?

“Well, actually…” Don’t do it, Winchester. Just Don’t. “I am.” Great.

“Oh, who is she?” Jo asked, leaning over her basket. Dean’s chest began to tighten.

“Joanna?” Mary came swooping down the aisle.

“Oh, hi, Mrs. Singer.” Jo shot straight up, her eyes wide. Dean snickered to himself.

“Hello, Joanna.” Mary pushed her cart in the space between the two of them and glanced at her son. He gave her a small, affirmative nod.

“Dean was just telling me about his new girlfriend,” Jo said.

Mary looked at Dean, raising an eyebrow slightly. Dean shrugged his shoulder and tilted his head slightly, trying not to come off as too pleading.

“Oh, right,” Mary said. She turned towards Jo. “Well, I hope you got a word in edgewise because she’s all I’ve been hearing about recently. What did you say she does in her off time? Reads to the blind?” Dean nodded, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “Right. She’s a nurse, too. And Dean can hardly shut up about her. She’s wonderful,” Mary said. Dean couldn’t see the look his mother was giving Jo, but he guessed it was somewhere between sugary sweet and murder. It was probably a bit of both.

Jo’s face fell. “Oh, well I’m glad for you, Dean.”

Dean smiled in spite of himself. “Thanks.”

“Well, I should probably finish up here before the ice cream melts,” Jo said, pointing to the carton in her shopping cart. “It was nice seeing both of you.” Jo pushed her basket, perhaps a little quicker than she usually would and rounded the corner.

Mary turned back towards Dean, her eyebrows raised in her usual, smug mom way.

“What?” Dean asked.

“You didn’t have to lie you know,” Mary said.

Dean grabbed a pie from the freezer, he didn’t pay attention to which one and started walking down the aisle. Mary followed with the basket.

“Neither did you,” he said.

“And what was I supposed to do? Leave my baby floundering like that. Besides, did you see her face?”

“Yeah.” It was Dean’s turn to be a little smug. He shouldn’t’ve lied, but it did feel really good to see Jo deflate. It wasn’t even really a lie, though, was it? Well, ok, the “girl” part definitely was. She’d shit a brick if he told her he was seeing Cas.

“You should’ve looked her in the eye and told her that you don’t need a woman to complete you,” Mary said.

“I know, but I didn’t. It’s not exactly easy when you’re ex-fiancée starts talking about her new boyfriend.”

Mary scoffed. “Tasteless. I never liked that girl anyway. But let’s hope this little lie doesn’t get you into more trouble. You shouldn’t pretend when it comes to your love life. It tends to blow up in your face,” Mary said as she parked the cart in front of the checkout counter.

“Hey, mom,” the words slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about it.

“Hmmm?” She looked up at him while she unloaded the groceries out of the cart. Her face was tender and unassuming. She was fierce and mischievous when she wanted to be, but more often than not she was soft and sweet. Even when she was angry and yelling, her eyes always maintained an air of compassion. He thought about telling here right then and there; about his feelings for Cas, about what they’d done, about what he’d hoped for. She couldn’t make a scene in the grocery store though it was unlikely she would. She would most likely be nothing but supportive. But it was wrong. He couldn’t spring something like that on her in the middle of the grocery store.

“Thank you, for all that,” Dean said with a sigh.

“Of course.”

Dean was buckling his seat belt as Mary turned on the car when he thought to ask her about why she picked nursing and reading to the blind as things for his imaginary girlfriend to do.

“I don’t know,” she said, “I just picked the most altruistic things I could think of.”

Dean nodded. He didn’t remind his mother that Cas was a nurse, or that he used to read to the blind and work at a soup kitchen when they were younger, but he thought about it.

***

Dinner was relatively uneventful, except for when Mary yelled at Sam for chucking rolls across the table when Dean asked for them. The majority of the night was spent catching up. Bobby complained about how some asshole bought a busted radiator at his salvage yard and said asshole was now demanding a full refund. Sam enthused about his new lecturer position and how much easier it was to tolerate the professors now that his grade didn’t depend on their opinions. Dean left sometime after nine after several porch goodbyes from his mother, who continued to come up with things to talk about after she released Dean from yet another tight hug.

Dean was putting his pajama pants on when his phone vibrated against the bedside table. He didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello,” he said, a little expectantly.

“Dean, it's Jo.” Damn.

“Uhm, hi?”

“Hey. So, uhm, my mom just called.”

“Okay?”

“She just got off the phone with your mom and apparently they’re trying to throw a surprise baby shower for Jess. I was just wondering, what do you think would be a good gift? I’d ask Sam but I don’t have his number and I know if he knows about it.”

Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. “Well, you can’t go wrong with the basics. Baby bottles and pacifiers and blankets are probably a safe bet.”

“Right.” There were a few seconds of silence on the line. “So, you’re gonna be there right?”

“’Course.”

“Are you bringing your girlfriend?”

Dean gnawed at his lower lip. “About that…” he started. There was a beeping on the line. He pulled the phone from his ear. Incoming call.

“Hang on just a sec, Jo, I’ve got another call on the line.” He didn’t wait for her response before he answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Dean.” It was Cas.


	3. You're my Dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas calls and Dean settles back into real life which means plenty of people trying to set him up with random women and awkward phone calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it took me so damn long to post this. I'm also sorry it's really long. I would've cut it into two chapters, but that would've meant a really awkward break.

“Cas? Hi,” Dean said, his voice a little higher pitch than he would’ve liked.

“Dean, I’m sorry for not getting a hold of you sooner. I had to pull a double shift today.”

“It’s ok, man. No worries. So, uh, what’re you doing?” Dean ran his hand through the short hair on the back of his head.

“Getting ready for bed.”

“Oh, ok.”

“How was your day, Dean?” Cas asked, his weary voice softening over the line.

“It was fine. I went over to moms for dinner…and I ran into Jo at the grocery store.”

“What did she want?” Cas’s voice rumbled over the line.

“I have no idea. Probably wanted to see if I was still moping or something.”

Cas chuckled. “I bet she was disappointed.”

“Yeah, a little.” A smile beamed across Dean’s lips. Warmth rose up in his cheeks and his heart began to beat just a little faster. “She’s uh, she’s actually on the other line right now.”

“God, why?” Dean could hear the sneer in Cas’s voice.

“Apparently mom’s throwing Jess a surprise baby shower, or something. I wasn’t aware of it. But she wanted to ask if I could suggest a gift. So I did.”

“Ok.”

“So, yeah.”

“Why do I have the feeling that you’re not telling me something?” Cas asked.

If there was one thing he hated about Cas, it was that the man could read him like a book. He didn’t even have to be in the same room, apparently. It was annoying as hell, especially when trying to read Cas was like trying to read some ancient tome translated into braille.

“She, uh, she asked if I was seeing anyone,” Dean said quietly.

“What did you tell her?”

“I kinda told her that I was.”

“And what did she say?”

“Mom showed up so she got all panicky and left. She didn’t look too happy about it.”

Cas chuckled on the other end. “Good.”

“Hey, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

Dean licked his lips reflectively and picked at the drawstring on his pajama pants, his pulse pounding in this throat.

“Do you wanna come over tomorrow?”

“I have work at noon,” Cas said.

“Alright.”

“But I could come over after work.”

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that.”

Cas’s soft hum resounded over the line. “Should I bring extra scrubs?”

Dean couldn’t keep the stupid grin from forming on his lips. “That might be a good idea.”

“Anything else I should bring?” Cas asked. His voice, rough with exhaustion, sent a sharp jolt through Dean’s chest.

“Well, I mean, that depends on how far you’d wanna go.”

“How far do you want to go?”

Dean gulped as Cas’s words rumbled through him. “I kinda wanna try… y’know…”

“Dean.” Dean could practically hear Cas scowling at him over the phone.

“Well, you know,” Dean said, pulling at the drawstring on his pants.

“Know what?”

“You know, Cas,”

“I don’t know, Dean.”

“Cas, come on.”

“Dean, if you’re not comfortable saying what you want to the person you’re going it with perhaps you shouldn’t be doing it.”

“I want to fuck, Cas,” he said in a harsh whisper, glancing around the empty apartment as if searching for some mysterious person to have appeared and voice their disapproval.

Cas hummed his amusement. “See, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

“God, you can be a twisted little fucker, you know that?”

“You didn’t seem to mind being so vocal when your dick was in my mouth. In fact, I seem to remember you describing, in exquisite detail, I might add, how much you wanted to…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” Dean groaned.

“Did I get you all flustered, Mr. Winchester?”

“Shut up,” Dean said in a half-hearted grumble.

Cas chortled. “Fine,” he sighed, “I should go to sleep anyway. And you should, too.”

“Yeah, I will once I get Jo off the phone. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Cas,” Dean said.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”

Dean switched the line back. “Hello?” He said tentatively.

“Hey, Dean.” It was Jo again. “So, uh, what were we talking about?”

“I don’t remember,” Dean said. That was a lie.

“Oh, right, the baby shower.” Crap. “You’re gonna bring your girlfriend right?”

Dean let out a slow exhale. “I haven’t exactly cleared it yet,” he said.

“Oh, I see.” She had that snarky, chipper tone in her voice that meant she thought she had something over him. The last time she used it was when she correctly guessed Dean had gotten her a pearl earrings for her birthday.

“Look, Jo, it’s late. I’ll talk to you later,” Dean said.

He hung up halfway through her goodbye.

Dean fell back on his bed, his skin buzzing with excitement and irritation. He folded his hands behind his head and shut his eyes, taking a few deep, steadying breaths. He kicked at the sheets under his feet until he could tuck them underneath the soft fabric. He was going to have to talk to his mother tomorrow, which wasn’t that big of a problem. No, the issue was this mess he was getting himself into with Jo. It would be so much easier to just tell her he didn’t have a girlfriend but then his mother would look like a liar, which, she was, but still. She was just trying to defend his precious little ego.

And then, there was the Cas issue looming over him. Not that Cas was a bad thing, but coming out? Well, that wasn’t something he had ever wanted to do. He’d seen the looks Cas got in public, especially during that time when he was dating that one dude, that Fergus prick. But Cas got all kinds of shit for being gay. If it was a good day, people just stared and whispered under the breaths. If it wasn’t such a good day, people would call him a faggot. He still remembered a week a few years back when Cas had called him to tell him he was quitting nursing. Dean wasn’t going to have that, at all. Cas was a healer; he was made to be a nurse. So when Dean dragged him to a bar and was able to get a few shots into him, he finally explained that some dickhead refused treatment because “I ain't getting’ AIDS. I won’t have no goddamn cocksucker touchin’ me”. Cas sobbed. Dean had half a mind to march down to the hospital and punch the asshat in his face, regardless of whether or not he was on dialysis. And there were countless other things that Dean could only imagine Cas had been told, countless things that Cas never shared, countless things that he himself would have to face. Perhaps that was an issue he could deal with later, but still, as long as he was firmly in the closet it would hang over his head like a dark cloud just waiting for the time to break open and drench him.

At least he was getting laid tomorrow.

Five in the morning always came too damn early and today was no exception. He didn’t bother to check the time before he finally fell asleep but wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gotten less than six hours. One hot, hasty shower, three cups of coffee, and a pop-tart later, Dean was driving down the highway, tugging at the collar of his itchy green polo. Going back to work was the worst part of vacation. He pulled into the lot behind the dinner, let himself in, and said a quick hello to Benny, the cook and owner, all ten minutes before opening. The dinner itself was a cozy little space, all maple wood floors and family photos on the cream colored walls. The tables themselves were polished oak, and a breakfast counter sat adjacent to the open kitchen. The place was just as homey as the food, which had won Lawrence’s Best Dessert in the City Award for the past two years.

It was a lazy Monday morning which he spent absently wiping down tables while he waited for the regulars to trickle in and order their usual breakfasts. It was a quarter past seven when Mildred, his personal favorite, came in and made herself at home on the breakfast counter, three stools from the end.

“Whatever else happens today, my morning has definitely been made,” Mildred said.

Dean had been leaning over one of the booths, cleaning a syrup spot that had been left on the wood. He jerked his head towards her. A thin smile lay across her lips as she straightened one of her dangly gold earrings.

“Morning Mils,” Dean said, making his way towards the serving station. He stood at the other end of the counter and poured her a cup of coffee, setting the carafe next to her. She smiled, fluffing her soft, white hair.

“I have to say, I’m glad you’re back Dean. That other man was sweet, but I think I made him nervous,” she said, wrapping her hands around the ceramic cup.

Dean let out a soft chuckle. “No, that’s just Alfie.”

Mildred brought the cup to her lips and blew a soft stream of air across the top, causing the liquid to ripple. “Did you have a good vacation?” She asked.

“I did, thank you,” Dean said, tucking the cloth he had been using into the waistband of his apron.

“Leave a trail of broken hearts behind you out there on the open ocean?” She asked before taking a sip of coffee.

Dean smiled and shook his head. “You know me, Mildred, I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Well, see how you are?”

“I know, I’m horrible,” Dean smirked, “So, what’re you having for breakfast, Mils?”

“I know what I’d like to have, but sadly, you don’t do off menu items,” she smirked, setting the coffee down and leaning, just slightly, over the counter. “I suppose I’ll settle for an omelet, no mushrooms.”

“You got it.”

A comfortable silence settled in for a few moments. Mildred was the only person in the dinner, so he didn’t feel bad about sticking around her.

“So, Dean,” Mildred started. Dean nodded in her direction as he put her order in. “My granddaughter is starting college in the fall. She’ll be staying with me for a few weeks until she finds an apartment,” she said.

“Ok.”

“I was wondering if perhaps you might be able to tell us which neighborhoods are the best for young, single women. And perhaps you could show her around a little?”

“Mildred…” Dean’s voice lilted and his eyebrow arch upward. He leaned on the counter in front of him, watching Mildred as she sipped her coffee, matching his expression. “Are you trying to set me up with your granddaughter?”

Mildred put her mug down and batted at the air. “Well if something were to happen I’m not saying I would be opposed to it. She could do a hell of a lot worse.”

Dean huffed a small laugh and shook his head. “I know a few good neighborhoods. But I’m not hooking up with your granddaughter.”

“You sure? She’s a very sweet girl. She’s going to be studying pharmacology. Not bad to look at either.”

“Trust me, Mils, I’m flattered. But I’m not interested.”

Mildred propped her elbow on the table and rested her hand on her chin, looking him over once. “Are you sure you’re really Dean and not some evil twin brother?”

A gruff laugh sounded from inside the kitchen. Dean’s attention shot towards the noise, to find Benny standing at the stove, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

“What?” Dean asked.

Benny just shook his head, thick lips curled in a smile.

“No, Mils. I’m definitely me,” Dean said.

“You met someone didn’t you?” Mildred asked. She clicked her nails on the counter as she continued to stare at him.

“What? No.” He could feel Benny’s eyes on his back. “Just because I’m not interested doesn’t mean anything,” he said.

“Well,” Benny’s voice rumbled from behind him. Dean turned to see him leaning over the cool metal counter of the pass. “It’s a Monday morning after your week of relaxation and I haven’t heard you bitch about it once. I’d say you either had a damn good vacation or the real you is tied up somewhere and I’m talking to a body snatcher,” Benny said.

“Oh, come on, it’s not that unusual,” Dean griped.

“Brother, you ain’t a peach in the mornings. Ever,” Benny said, “By the way, your omelet’s ready.”

Dean rolled his eyes and glared at Benny as he retrieved the omelet. Benny arches his eyes brows and crossed his arms over his chest, his lips still curled upwards in amusement. “Awh, he’s grumpy,” he said smugly.

Dean set the omelet in front of Mildred and refilled her coffee while she lay her napkin across her lap.

Mildred smiled at him, but she didn’t say anything more on the subject. A few more dinners trickled in and Dean tended to them, ignoring the smug looks Benny and Mildred were passing between themselves. Mildred finished her meal and left a generous tip, promising she’d be back in few days before she left. It was just before the lunch rush when Benny met him at the pass, speaking in a hushed whisper.

“Be honest with me, brother, did you meet someone? I’m not tryin’ to be a pest, I just haven’t seen you like this in a long time. You just seem a lot lighter.”

Dean chewed on his bottom lip. Next to Cas, Benny was the best friend he had. He wouldn’t care one way or the other what he did with who, so neither his job nor his friendship were really in danger. Still, he wasn’t really sure where he stood with the whole thing. He and Cas were screwing around, sure, but it wasn’t something he really wanted to broadcast to the whole world just yet. Especially not when he wasn’t one hundred percent sure where they stood. “That’s not exactly workplace conversation,” Dean said, taking table 12’s order.

“So buy me a beer. Andrea’s taking over at six,” Benny said.

“I can’t. I…I have plans.”

Benny opened his mouth to say something, but Dean stopped him. “I will tell you, just not tonight, okay?”

“Alright,” Benny said, the smug look still painted all over his face.

The rest of the work day was easy. Lunch rush kinda sucked, but it always kinda sucked, but at least the customers weren’t overly rude, and he made some decent money. He was out the door and back in his car by three, heading down the road home. It wasn’t an especially long drive, fifteen minutes tops if he took the expressway, but today he felt like taking the regular highway, making mental notes of the things he should do but would put off until later in the week, like laundry and grocery shopping and changing the oil in the Impala. As he passed a pharmacy he couldn’t help the nervous twinge of excitement creeping up through his stomach. Cas was coming over. He should probably prepare for that. He made a hasty U-turn and pulled into the pharmacy’s parking lot.

There was only one other person walking around the pharmacy. He wandered around the rows of hair coloring first, idly eyeing the boxes of various shades of brown which all really looked the same. Why were there so many different shades anyway? It’s not like anyone really could tell the difference between light honey brown and light caramel brown anyway. The hair dye was on the far end of the pharmacy, on the opposite end from the prescription drop-off and the condoms. He meandered his way towards the other end, hesitantly wondering if he should pick something else up on the way, just to maybe alleviate any suspicion that the only reason he was in here at three in the afternoon was because he was going to have gay sex. Which, of course, was the exact reason he was in here. It wasn’t that he was ashamed about it, not entirely. It was normal. It was natural. Plenty of animals had gay sex. Plenty of people have gay sex every single day. He was about to be one of them. But he didn’t really want to broadcast that. Not even to strangers who he never had to see again.

He finally made his way to the isle that held the condoms, a six-pack of coke tucked under his arm. It wasn’t the condoms that made him nervous, everyone used condoms; it was the lube. The only people who bought lube were either seventy or doing butt stuff. He set a box of condoms on top of the six pack and glanced over at the bottles of lubricant out of the side of his eye. A bigger bottle would be more practical, and for some dumb reason, it costs less comparatively. But which brand was best? Was there any difference? That’s when movement caught his eye. Walking past the other end of the isle was his mother of all people, making her way to the prescription drop-off window. Shit. He grabbed a bottle off the shelf, not paying attention to price or brand and speed walked his way to the checkout. He didn’t even really pay attention to the raised eyebrow the clerk gave him throughout the whole transaction, or whatever it was she muttered under her breath when he paid with a few handfuls of crumpled bills. He just booked it back to his car and sped out of the parking lot like the cops were chasing him. His mother hadn’t seen him, but she might’ve seen the car. If she asked him about it later, it would be easy to lie.

He settled down by the time he finally made it home. He wrenched a coke out of the plastic ring and plopped down on the couch. He turned on the TV and began absently flipping through the channels, sipping his drink. His mother should be calling anytime now, not about the pharmacy, but about the baby shower. And then he’d tell her about how Jo had called him the night before and of course she’d ask him if he wanted her to set him up with someone for the day. And then he’d have to tell her about Cas. But not over the phone. No, coming out was something he should do in person, regardless of whether or not he actually wanted to do it. And then he’d have to tell everyone else before the baby shower. Of course, that all hinged on whether or not he and Cas were actually a thing. They were fucking but they weren’t actually dating. At least, he didn’t think so. He wouldn’t mind it if they were though. In fact, he’d actually prefer if Cas was his boyfriend as opposed to his fuck buddy, even if the word boyfriend stuck on the tip of his tongue.

His mother didn’t call. After a few hours of mindless television, Dean finally hauled himself off the couch and tidied up the apartment, which didn’t take long, and then ordered a pizza. It was a little after eight when Cas finally texted that he was on his way over. His skin vibrated with nervous energy as he paced around the apartment for a good ten minutes before he stuffed yet another slice of cold pizza down his throat. He nearly jumped when he finally heard the knock on his door.

He opened the door and Cas was standing there, duffel bag slung over his shoulder, still dressed in his powder blue scrubs.

“Hey,” Dean said, letting his eyes trail up and down Cas’s body. The scrubs weren’t very flattering but he couldn’t help himself.

“Hello.” Cas’s eyebrows quirked upwards, a sly smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Dean moved out of the doorway and Cas sauntered in. “There’s pizza if you’re hungry,” Dean said as Cas dumped his bag at the edge of the couch.

“That sounds nice.”

Dean handed him the pizza box and a beer as Cas made himself comfortable in the middle of the couch. The two of them sat in silence while Cas devoured two slices of pizza. It wasn’t exactly and uncomfortable silence, but Dean couldn’t help fidgeting just a little. Cas’s heat radiated across his legs from where their knees touched.

“So, how was your day?” Dean asked.

Cas shrugged and sucked the orange grease off his fingers. “Same crap as always.”

“So boring then?” Dean asked, handing him a tissue.

“Believe me, I’ll take broken bones and pneumonia over car accidents and drunken injuries any day of the week.” Cas wiped his fingers and took a swig of his beer. “What about you?”

“Same old, same old I guess. Felt weird to be back, but it was nice.”

“Benny give you shit?”

“Of course. He, uh, he actually wanted to go out for drinks after work.”

“And you turned him down?” Cas said with mock surprise.

“I had something a little more important to attend to tonight.” Dean slung an arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against Cas’s shoulder.

Cas quirked an eyebrow, his lips thinned in a devilish smirk. His shoulders and chest jerked once and he shook his head slightly.

“What?”

Cas ran his eyes up and down Dean’s body. “Nothing,” he said.

Dean reached up and cupped Cas’s chin with his fingers. He leaned in and caught Cas’s bottom lip between his own. Their lips moved together, soft and slow. Wet smacks filled the air as they pulled apart and pressed together again, over and over. Cas’s tongue brushed against Dean’s lips, and Dean opened his mouth, allowing Cas to slide his tongue in quickly then darted back out. Their kiss grew more heated as Dean pressed his lips against Cas’s more insistently. There was a dull thud and Dean pulled away just for a moment to see that Cas had pushed the pizza box onto the floor. He opened his mouth to say something, but Cas crashed against his lips again, and snaked a hand up Dean’s arm and rested it against the back of his neck, pulling him closer. It wasn’t long before the two of them were swaying back and forth, pushing and pulling each other with hungry kisses. Dean dragged his fingertips down Cas’s arms, leaving a trail of faint goosebumps in his wake. The intertwined their fingers and began rubbing his thumb across Cas’s knuckles. Dean groaned softly as Cas sucked his tongue into his mouth.

“You know,” Cas said when they finally broke for air, “Your coworkers are going to talk about you ditching Benny. They’re going to think you’ve got some mysterious young piece of ass in your bed.”

“Not yet, but I plan to,” Dean said. He pressed his lips to Cas’s again.

Cas hummed softly as his hands drifted towards Dean’s waist. He pressed soft kisses into Dean’s jaw and down his neck as he teased his hands underneath Dean’s shirt. Dean sighed. He ran his fingers through Cas’s soft hair as Cas started nipping and sucking the tender spot just behind Dean’s ear.

“No hickeys,” Dean nearly whispered, “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Cas grumbled quietly and licked at the skin instead. His hands trailed up Dean’s stomach and he pulled away for a moment, raising Dean’s shirt over his head. Dean cupped Cas’s cheeks in his hands and started kissing in earnest, leaning into him until Cas was laying on his back against the couch, their hips flush together. Dean ground his hips against Cas’s. A sharp tingle ran up his spine as he felt Cas’s erection through this thin scrubs. Cas groan as he drug his teeth down Dean’s earlobe then down his neck. He reached up and pressed his nails into Dean’s shoulder blades.

“You wanna take this to the bedroom?” Dean asked, through a husky whisper.

“Hell yes.”

Cas wrapped his legs around Dean waist and held on as Dean rose up, cupping and squeezing Cas’s ass. Cas growled low in his ear and Dean shuddered. He made his way to the bedroom and plopped Cas down unceremoniously on the bed. Cas let out a startled gasp and scooted into the center of the bed, leaning up on his elbows, wiggling his eyebrows and licked his lips. Dean stood over him, unbuckling his belt and throwing it across the room. He undid his pants and pushed them down. Cas leaned over the bed and slid a finger into the waistband of Dean’s boxers snapping them.

“Hey!” Dean jumped when the elastic slapped against his skin.

Cas chuckled. “That’s what you get for being mostly naked.”

Dean shucked his boxers off and kneeled on the bed. “Better?”

Cas reached up and ran his slender fingers up and down the inside of Dean’s thigh. “No.”

Dean shuttered a groan, his eyes fluttering shut. “Why not?”

“I’m still dressed,” Cas said, pouting.

Dean lunged for him, sucking Cas’s bottom lip as he rucked Ca’s shirt up his chest. Dean pulled him up to a sitting position and straddled his thighs as he pulled Cas’s shirt off and tossed it to the side. Cas began rubbing his thumbs over Dean’s nipples while Dean planted heavy, wet kisses over Cas’s neck, running his fingers through Cas’s hair. Cas moaned and fell into Dean’s tugging at his hair. With sudden strength, Cas pushed Dean backwards and he plopped against the bed. Cas loomed over him, nibbling down Dean’s stomach while digging his nails into Dean’s hips. Cas let go for just a second to slide his pants down his thighs. He slid up Dean’s body, dragging his heavy, cotton covered, erection over Dean’s thighs and hips, and Dean’s breath hitched.

They paused for a second, breathing in each other’s hot, heavy breaths. Cas stared down at Dean, his eyes wide and glazed; puffy, spit coated lips hanging open. God, he’s so hot when he’s horny. Dean let his hands float up Cas’s back and settled them just below his shoulder blades. Warm, sharp tingles ran up his thighs and settled in his hips and groin.

“God, I want you,” Cas’s low whisper rumbled against Dean’s skin. He jerked his hips against Deans and gasped. Cas kicked Dean’s feet apart and wrapped his hand around Dean’s erection, stroking quickly. Dean groaned and bucked into his fist. He let his hands fall down Cas’s back and slipped them under Cas’s underwear, groping his plump cheeks. He moaned and tightened his grip.

A sudden loud beeping broke through the heavy groaning. Cas stopped for just a second. “The hell is that?”

Dean raised himself up on his elbows and Cas’s hands left his body. “I think,” he said, trying to blink away the heavy sex haze, “it’s my phone.”

“Oh, then fuck it,” Cas said, pulling Dean into another heated kiss.

The ringing continued for a few seconds then stopped, only to start up again. Dean let the phone go for one more time before he pulled away from Cas and slipped off the bed.

“I gotta see who it is,” Dean said, digging through his pants pocket. He groaned and rolled his eyes. “It’s my mom.”

“She’ll call back,” Cas said.

“She’s already called three times. I gotta take this,” Dean said. He took a deep breath and answered the phone, hoping he wouldn’t sound too out of breath. “Hello.”

“Hey, sweetie. How are you?”

“I’m fine, mom. Hey, right now isn’t exactly a good time,” Dean said. Cas crawled towards the edge of the bed, his eyes locked on Dean’s dick, like a hungry panther. Dean felt a sharp swell in his chest as Cas bit his bottom lip.

“Oh, that’s okay sweetie, it’ll only take a minute,” Mary said on the other line.

Dean rolled his eyes and plopped down on the bed. “Ok, what’s up?” Cas pressed a single finger to Dean’s hip, running his nail across the skin. Dean wiggled away.

“We’re having a baby shower for Jess and Sam this Saturday at three. I’m sorry it’s so last minute but you know your brother and he couldn’t get his freaking schedule together. But anyway, I’d like you to be there if you could.”

“You said three right?”

Cas crawled closer, resting his lips against Dean’s hip.

“Yes.”

“Yeah I think I could do that.” Dean bit his lip and exhaled through his nose as Cas sucked at his hip.

“Oh. Good. Also, do you think you could pick up the cake from the bakery on 12th? Ellen would do it but she’s picking up the catering. And Bobby and I need to be here to wrangle everyone.”

“Yeah, yeah, mom. Sure.” Dean pushed Cas off his hip, a wet, red bruise left in where Cas’s mouth had been. “I gotta go.”

“On more thing,” Mary interjected. Cas was now running his fingers through Dean’s hair, his nose nuzzled into the crook of Dean’s neck, hot puffs of breath against his skin. Dean gulped and glared at him. Cas seemed to take it as a challenge and began running his teeth across Dean’s neck, his tongue darting out occasionally. Dean shuddered, catching a moan in his throat before it could escape.

Dick, Dean mouthed at Cas, scooting away. Cas’s eyes went wide. He cupped his hand around Dean’s thigh, dangerously close to his dick.

“What do you think, Dean?” His mother’s voice came over the phone again.

“What? Hang on, mom, give me a second,” Dean said, shoving Cas off him. Cas leaned back against the bed, chuckling softly. Dean flipped him the bird and got off the bed, excusing himself to the living room. “Sorry, mom, what did you say?”

“I asked if that was okay with you,” Mary said.

“Oh, yeah, sure, mom.”

“Okay, good. I’ll text you her phone number. Alright, well, that’s all I needed to ask you about. You can get back to doing whatever it is now.”

“’K, thanks, mom. Wait, whose number?” Dean glanced back at the bedroom door, surprised when Cas wasn’t standing in the doorway.

“Were you listening at all?”

“I got distracted.”

Mary huffed over the line. He could practically hear her eyes rolling. “I said,” she started, “Bobby’s physical therapist has a cousin who’s a nurse. She’s single and she seems like a nice girl. I could give you her number if you’d like. You could bring her to the baby shower.”

“Uhm,” Dean gasped. His eyes shifted around the room as if what he should say had been written on the walls. Leave it to his mother to stick reality in his face when he was trying to get some.

“Look, I know you haven’t really been dating recently but I think it would be good for you to get back out there. I’m not saying it has to be anything permanent right now but I’d like to see you at least try.” Mary said.

“Ok, um, mom,” Dean took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but now really isn’t a good time to discuss this.”

“Fine. But I think it’d be good for you. You could go out to coffee. Just coffee. It doesn’t have to be serious,” Mary said.

There was no way he was going to get out of this any time soon. If he didn’t say something to get her off his case he was going to hear about this for months. He had the perfect escape laying on his bed, right now, but that was going to lead to a whole conversation he really didn’t want to have now that his blood was not all flowing to his brain. “Okay, mom, whatever,” he said.

“Geeze, don’t sound so put out. I’ll send you her number and vice versa.” Her voice was dry and stern.

Dean sighed. “Ok. But, uh,” Dean stopped, holding his breath. He was going to have to clear this up sooner or later and it might as well be soon.

“Yes?”

“Do you have time for lunch tomorrow?” Yeah, it needed to be done sooner than later, but not right now.

“Sure, sweetie, what time?”

“Does noon work?”

“Sure.”

Dean exhaled a deep breath. “Great. Does Mimi’s work for you?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

“Alright. Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Alright. You get back to whatever it is you were doing. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Dean ended the call and rubbed his eyes, taking a moment to quell the nerves that made his stomach churn.

“Is everything alright?” Dean turned to see Cas leaning up against the door jam, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Really fine or are you just saying that?” Cas squinted at him.

“Really fine. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Cas nodded and held out his hand. “Well then, where were we?”

“Hang on just one second.” Dean walked over to the counter and grabbed the plastic bag from his trip to the pharmacy. He took Cas’s hand and led them back into the bedroom. Cas snatched the bag from Dean’s hand and rummaged through it. He pulled out the pink box of lube and chuckled.

“Are you trying to tell me something?” He asked shaking the box.

“Uh, I thought that was kinda clear at this point.”

Cas shook his head. “I thought you didn’t like strawberries.”

“What?” Dean asked, snatching the box out of Cas’s hand. “Aw, shit,” he groaned. In his haste, he’d grabbed flavored lube. No wonder the cashier gave him weird looks. Lube was bad enough, but the flavored stuff was a little weird.

“I didn’t mean to get this.” He felt the heat radiate off his cheeks. “I just grabbed one. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Cas shook his head.

“It’s still gonna work right? I mean, does it matter or did I fuck it up?”

Cas smiled. “God, you’re adorable.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips then trailed down to his jaw.

“Am not,” Dean murmured.

“Whatever you say.” Cas’s hands settled on Dean’s hips as his lips skimmed across Dean’s neck and down to his chest. He flicked his tongue against Dean’s nipple, pulling a deep sigh from Dean’s throat. Dean tossed the box back against the pillow on his bed and ran both hands through Cas’s hair as he sank to his knees. He tongued the hickey on his hip before pressing his lips to the head of Dean’s dick. He wrapped his lips around the tip and sucked gently, running his thumbs up the inside of Dean’s thighs. Dean moaned softly, his shoulders dropping as Cas sunk down onto the rest of the shaft. Cas bobbed his head back and forth.

“Shit,” Dean sighed, tugging at Cas’s hair. Cas pulled off and licked up the underside of his length once before rising back up, his hands tracing the curves of Dean’s sides as he did.

Dean latched onto Cas’s neck, nipping and sucking the soft flesh behind Cas’s ears. Cas moaned and pressed their bodies together, running his slender fingers down the curve of Dean’s spine then across his bare cheeks. Dean shuddered, biting down on Cas’s shoulder.

“You like?” Cas asked.

“Yeah.” Dean’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Cas’s hands fell lower until as single finger pressed against Dean’s hole, tracing small circles on it. Dean gulped, licking similar small circles against the indents his teeth left on Cas’s skin. Cas pressed gently against Dean’s hole and Dean dragged his front against Cas’s. Cas groaned.

“Why don’t you get on the bed.” Cas didn’t so much ask as said as he backed Dean up against the bed frame. Dean nodded breathlessly and pulled away, settling himself in the middle of the bed. He watched as Cas pushed his underwear to the floor and stroked his own dick a few times before climbing on the bed, kneeling between Dean’s legs. He sunk down and the two of them locked in a feverish kiss, licking and nipping at each other’s lips. Cas broke away first and grabbed the box sitting next to Dean’s head. He ripped it open and pulled the foil off end of the tube, no bothering to twist the snapping cap back on.

“How do you want this?” He asked, squirting lube onto his fingers.

Dean sighed and shut his eyes, throwing his head against the pillow. “You in me.”

“Look at me,” Cas’s voice turned impossibly soft.

Dean opened his eyes and peered up at Cas. His hair stuck up all over the place, his eyes trained on Dean’s face. Dean let his eyes fall down Cas’s heaving chest to the bead of precum sliding down the tip of his dick.

“Dean,” Cas’s voice jerked his eyes back up to Cas’s face. “Are you sure?” Cas asked.

“Yes,” Dean said with a quick nod.

“Tell me if you need to stop,” Cas said, sitting on his heels and spreading Dean’s thighs.

Cas pressed a single, slick finger against Dean’s hole and went back to rubbing circles across it. Slowly he pressed against it and until his finger breached the ring of muscle. Dean drew a sharp inhale.

“You okay?” He asked.

Dean nodded.

Slowly, Cas pushed in further, then pulled out and pushed back in. He continued this for a few moments before pulling out and rubbing two fingers against the hole again. He pressed in with two fingers and Dean groaned slightly, drawing his knees up further. The pressure was odd, but not unwelcome. His breath hitched as Cas spread his fingers, scissoring inside Dean.

Cas began to pick up the pace just a bit. Dean licked his lips and shut his eyes, sinking into the mattress and relaxing into the pressure. He drew in a sudden, sharp breath, his eyes flying open as Cas brushed over a sensitive spot inside him. Cas stopped immediately.

“Are you okay?”

‘Yeah, yeah, Cas,” Dean said through a shaking breath, “Do that again.”

Cas pressed against the spot again, this time, a little harder and Dean groaned. He pulled out all the way and dove back in, this time with three fingers, scissoring and stretching like before, pressing light kisses to Dean’s thighs, muttering something against the skin. Dean began groaning as Cas thrust his fingers faster, now biting at the inside of his thighs. He was vaguely aware that he was pushing back into Cas’s fingers as he pulled them out.

“God,” Dean mumbled, sighing.

“You ready?” Cas whispered.

“Yeah.”

Cas pulled his fingers out, leaving Dean empty and a little cold. He watched as Cas lubed his dick with a few long, slow strokes before settling himself between Dean’s thighs. He loomed over Dean, one hand resting next to his head. He leaned in for a slow, hungry kiss and Dean felt the head of Cas’s dick against his hole. He tensed instantly, taking a deep breath.

“Relax,” Cas said, pressing his lips against Dean’s lips again, the nipping at his throat.

Dean sighed and ran his and up Cas’s arm and up to his cheek, pulling him in for another kiss. He licked against Cas’s lips as Cas pushed into him, the head of his dick breaching Dean’s hole. Dean hissed slightly and Cas stopped, nibbling his earlobe and sucking it into his mouth. They continued exchanging kisses and nip at exposed skin as Cas eased in. Dean let out a deep sigh when Cas was fully seated inside him. Cas shut his eyes, his chest heaving.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you like this.” He whispered, nudging Dean’s nose with his own. Their lips pressed together just once.

Cas pulled out slowly and sank back in in a long stroke. Dean moaned against Cas’s mouth as he did it again.

“How does it feel?” Cas asked.

“Good, so good.”

Dean shut his eyes and let his mouth fall open as he fell into Cas’s long steady thrusts. He let his hands trail up and down Cas’s back and chest, clutching his shoulders every once in a while when Cas brushed against his prostate. Cas was panting above him. On one thrust in he moved his hips in small circles, pulling a sudden moan out of Dean.

“You like?”

“God yes.” Dean dug his nails into Cas’s shoulder blades as he spoke.

Cas groaned and thrust a little faster, circling his hips every once in a while. Desperate moans and whimpers began to fall from Dean’s lips as Cas sped up, groaning fuck over and over. Heat began to pool in his belly. He was getting close.

Cas’s thrust grew sharper and he dropped his head against Dean’s shoulder, panting into Dean’s ear.

“Fuck, Dean, are you close?”

“Uh-huh.”

Cas reached his hand down and stroked Dean’s dick in him with his thrusts.

“Jesus….Cas….fuuuuuck” Dean moaned and thrust his hips upward and his body went ridged as he came.

“Shit,” Cas gasped, thrusting a few more times before he too went ridged and collapsed onto Dean’s chest. Dean could feel the warmth of Cas’s release inside him.

They laid there for a few moments, breathing heavy until the post-orgasmic bliss faded. Cas excused himself and returned with a damp towel, making it his business to clean them both up. He then collapsed on top of Dean with a huff and Dean smiled, rubbing circles against his back. After a while, Cas sat up, resting his arms on Dean’s chest and looking up down at him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey, yourself.” Dean brushed his knuckle against Cas’s cheek.

“How was it?” Cas asked, leaning into Dean’s hand.

“Fucking wonderful.”

“Good. I agree.”

They kissed, soft and unhurried.

“So, what did your mother want?” Cas asked, resting his cheek against Dean’s chest.

“Just baby shower stuff. I’m officially invited I guess.”

Cas hummed against his chest, tracing patterns against Dean’s skin.

“And, uh, she wanted to set me up with some chick.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her I wasn’t interested but you know how she is. So I guess I’m gonna have to call this girl and tell her no.”

“And, I guess I’m gonna tell her tomorrow. About us. But…uh, not unless you want me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to? It’s your decision to come out. I don’t want to keep you in the closet if you don’t want to be.”

“Well, I mean…I guess…is there anything to tell. I mean are we like together, or…”

Cas squinted up at Dean. For a second his heart dropped, then Cas laughed.

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty,” Cas said.

“What?”

“When have you ever known me to have sex with anyone I’m not in a relationship with?”

“Well, never, but we didn’t exactly do the whole dating thing.”

“And what do you call all that stuff on the cruise ship where we were eating together and dancing together and hanging out all the pool before we went back and had sex?”

Dean shrugged and let out a nervous chuckle. “When you put it like that.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “Perhaps I was being presumptuous, but if you want to go on a few dates now just so you’re sure I’m sure I could handle it.”

Dean smiled and ran his fingers through Cas’s already mussed hair. “I’d like that.”

Cas pressed a kissed to his chest.

“So, I guess that makes you my boyfriend, huh?” Dean said.

“Yes, and you’re my dumbass.”

Dean shoved his shoulder playfully. The two laid tangled together until they fell asleep.


	4. Out of the Closet...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and his mother have lunch.

Dean sat alone in the corner booth rolling his straw wrapper between his fingers. He checked his phone for the third time in five minutes, then set it down on the table next to him. It was only 12:05, but he had already been waiting for fifteen minutes. He’d had to resist the urge to leave even earlier than he already had, spending close to an hour going back and forth between pacing his apartment and half-heartedly watching re-runs of Tyra. Cas had left shortly before eight after grumbling his way through three cups of coffee and a stack of waffles. He had suggested they shower together, but the death stare Cas had given him made him realize that if he tried anything he was likely to bed bludgeoned to death with the shampoo bottle. When Cas was finally cognizant enough to hold a conversation, Dean had asked for advice on how the hell he was supposed to tell his mother. Cas shrugged and told him to be honest.

“But what if she takes it badly?” Dean had asked.

“Tell her you were the same person you were yesterday. Tell her you still love her and this is just who you are,” Cas had said, shrugging behind his coffee.

“What if she gets pissed?”

“I doubt Mary is the kind of person to get upset about something like this.”

“Yeah, but what if she does?”

“Then she gets pissed and she storms out. Or you do. And then you call me.”

Dean had nodded, chewing his lip.

And then Cas added, “But just a word of advice; if she does get pissed off, don’t say anything about how she should be glad the two of you can bond over your fondness of the male body. Speaking from personal experience.”

Dean had snorted at that. “You seriously said that to your mother?”

“No, what I said was: You always complain about how we don’t seem to have anything in common anymore. You should be glad that if nothing else we share an insatiable love of dick.”

Dean proceeded to lose it, shaking in a full-bodied laugh. Neither of them broached the topic again for the rest of the morning.

Movement to his right snapped Dean back into reality. His heart dropped down to his stomach as his mother walked through the doors. She didn’t see him at first, stopping to talk to the hostess. She was dressed in slacks and a gray dress shirt, her hair curled around her face. She’d been retired for a few years now, but she still dressed like a teacher whenever she went out during the week. She smiled at him when she saw him. Dean’s heart pounded a little harder with every click of her heels against the tile.

Mary sat down in the booth and scooted across the plastic, setting her purse down on the table.

“Hi, sweetie,” she said, brushing her silver specked bangs out of her face.

“Hey, mom, how are you?” To his surprise, his voice was even and relatively normal.

“Oh, just fine. How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“So, what’s wrong?” She asked, folding her hands in front of her and leaning over the table. Her eyes were warm but firm, holding his gaze. He wrung his hands in his lap.

“Why does anything have to be wrong for me to want to see you?” Dean’s stomach churned.

“Do you remember the last time you asked me to lunch?”

“Uhm…”

“A few days after Jo moved out.”

“Oh.”

“So,” she stretched her hand over the table, offering her palm up, “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

Dean wiped his sweating palms on his jeans. He faltered at little, a small strangled squeal escaping his throat. It was then when the waitress came over, two menus tucked to her chest. Dean wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or irritated. His mother opted for irritated, furrowing her brow and responding in monosyllables to the waitress. When the waitress came back with her water she didn’t say a thing. His mother gave the menu a death glare as she flipped through the laminated pages. Dean didn’t bother. Call him boring or whatever, but right now he needed a cheeseburger. With bacon. And onion rings. It’s called comfort food for a reason.

Mary glanced at him over her menu, her hawkish glare leaving him frozen. “You were saying?”

Dean wanted to fidget. His skin was simultaneously cold and hot, buzzing and still. He downed half his water in a single swallow, but it didn’t do much for the tight, dry feeling in the back of his throat.

“So, um, I’m really not sure how to do this,” he said slowly.

Mary’s gaze softened. She pulled the menu away from her face. “Is someone pregnant?”

“What? No, nothing like that.” Dean shook his head.

“Are you and John fighting again?”

“No. I haven’t even talked to him in like three weeks. Shit, I need to call him. Don’t let me forget.”

Mary shook her head. “I know he’s a pain in the ass but if you talked to him more often the two of you wouldn’t squabble as much when you actually do talk.”

“Yeah, well I can’t help it. I can only take so much. I love him but he gets on my nerves, you know? It’s like he’s fine one minute and the next he’s bitching about something or he says something dumb and I can only shut up for so long.”

Mary hummed sympathetically. “So what did you fight last time?”

“He’s voting for that Dick Roman bastard.”

“Uhg.” Mary’s nostrils flared and her lips curled upward.

“Thank you! That guy is a slimy dirtbag. I mean, he goes by Dick. That’s a warning sign right there.”

“So you two aren’t speaking because he got upset over politics? He’s being a dick because of Dick?”

Dean snorted and shook his head, a small smile tugging its way across his lips. It would be so easy to say yes. It would be so easy to just avoid this conversation altogether. Maybe he could do this later, like in a week. Or a month. Or a year. But then, it’s sneaking around for a week, a month, a year. It’s another week, month, year of worrying, wondering, and stewing, hoping that no one saw him on a date with Cas or called him when he was with Cas or saw him kissing Cas. And in all that time he’d be set up with random women because his mother would only want to see him happy.

“No, that happened a while ago,” Dean gulped. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something else.”

And then, the waitress popped up out of nowhere, waiting to take their orders. This time, Dean opted for irritated. He ordered his cheeseburger and Mary went with a chicken salad.

“Do waitresses have an internal timer set to ‘worst possible time to interrupt’?” Mary asked after the woman left.

“She’s just trying to do her job,” Dean offered, “And it’s actually a gossip timer.”

Mary smiled, then watched at their waitress disappeared into the kitchen. “You were saying?”

“Uhm, ok, right,” Dean took a deep breath. It seemed to quell some of the nerves fluttering around in his chest. He looked his mother in the face and exhaled. “I don’t want you to set me up with anyone anymore because I’m already seeing someone.”

“Since when?” Mary leaned further over the table, her eyebrows knitting closer together. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She was irritated. “This is great news, why are you so….wait, is she a weirdo or something? Like one of those hippie Vegans who drinks chia seeds in their water? Because if she is I think I can handle it. Or does she work for some seedy corporation or something because that might be a little more difficult for me to accept.”

Dean huffed a small laugh. “No, no hippies or Vegans or corporate shills. And it’s been two weeks.”

“Two weeks? You were on a boat two weeks ago.” Mary rolled her head along with her eyes. “Dean, please tell me you’re not trying a long distance relationship because those things never work.”

“No.” He cleared his throat. “I’m dating Cas.”

Mary slowly pulled herself up, her face blank. She stared at him, sitting stiff in her seat.

“I’m dating Cas because I like men. I like women, too, but I like men like I like women. I’m uh, I’m bi.” Dean held his breath.

Mary blinked several times, her lips pursed tightly. Dean’s head felt light and dizzy like it was full of helium.

“Mom?”

Mary let a soft breath pass between her lips. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.” She took a drink from her glass. “I love you.”

Well, this wasn’t going the way he’d expected. His mother kept rubbing her lips together and blinking slowly, seemingly frozen where she sat. Dean wasn’t sure how to feel. His head felt like it was in freefall but his body stayed stiff, unable to move an inch.

“I still love you,” she said again. “I’m just a little surprised.”

Dean nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Okay.” Mary held the glass of water to her lips. She glanced out the open window to her right, the hard laugh lines around her lips seemed darker.

Dean ducked his head. Noticing the table was trembling, he moved his foot away from the middle pillar under it and the trembling stopped. He didn’t know when his leg started shaking or when it had gotten bad enough to shake the table. He focused on his breathing. In all his life, Dean had only managed to stun his mother into silence twice; once when he was fifteen and told his principal to get fucked and now. Back then she didn’t have anything to say until they were driving home and then she half-chewed him out half-agreed with him.

“You know, this isn’t a problem,” Mary said.

Dean jerked his head up. His mother was looking back at him, a soft frown on her face.

“I need you to know that this isn’t a problem. I’m not mad or upset, I just wasn’t expecting this. I’m sorry. But this isn’t a problem. I will always love you, no matter what you do. You know that right?” Mary rested her hand on top of Deans, patting lightly.

“Thanks, mom.” His voice was shaking but he didn’t really care.

“You’re…are you happy?”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“So, you…” Mary set her glass down in front of her and folded her hands in front of her, “Is this, a new… revelation or is this something you’ve been thinking about for a while?”

“I guess it’s something I’ve kinda known for a while, I just…I didn’t think it would ever be a thing. And then this thing with Cas, it just kinda happened you know? And I wanted to tell you because I thought it would be best to just get it out of the way ahead of time,” Dean said.

Mary squeezed his hand and smiled softly. “As long as you’re happy and you’re being safe that’s all I could ask for.”

Dean nodded then froze.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Mary asked.

Crap. He and Cas hadn’t used condoms once. Granted, they’d only done penetration once but still. And he bought the damn things. Shit. When was the last time he’d gotten tested? He couldn’t even remember. But Cas was a nurse. He probably had that covered. Or he should, shouldn’t he?

“Dean, don’t tell me…”

“Mom, can we not talk about that right now? I’ll get it taken care of, okay? Just one massive embarrassment at a time, please.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, closing his eyes.

“Oh, honey, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Or ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with being bisexual.” Mary’s grip on his hand tightened.

“Yeah, well.”

“No, don’t feel bad about this, okay?” She squeezed tighter.

“Mom, you’re hurting me.”

Mary loosened her grip but kept her hand on his. She stared him down the way she used to when he was a child.

“I promise mom.”

“Good.” She removed her hand from his and the waitress came back with their lunch. Dean avoided looking at her. There was no doubt that she was listening. Wait staff always listened.

“So, I guess I need to make you aware that the girl I was trying to set you up with is going to be at the baby shower,” Mary said, jabbing her fork into her salad.

“Mom.”

“I know you, Dean. You weren’t going to call her. You were going to avoid it until you couldn’t anymore.”

She had a point.

“But I can’t exactly un-invite her at this point so what you do about it is up to you.” Mary took a large bite of her salad.

“I’m not coming out at the baby shower. It’s Sam and Jess’s day.” Dean started in on his burger.

“I don’t expect you to. And just so you know, Cas is invited. I tried to call him but he didn’t answer so you can tell him for me.”

“Will do.”

They ate in relative silence. Dean still felt a little dizzy from the whole experience. Mom was okay with it, so that was good. He’d worked himself up over nothing, apparently. But now there was the little matter of telling everyone else. Sam and Jess would probably act the same way Mom did. Bobby wouldn’t care that much either. Benny might be surprised. Charlie would jump for joy. She’d always given him the side-eyes whenever she hung out with him and Cas. And then there was Dad and Kate. There was no telling how that was going to go over. Maybe he should just throw a damn party or something. Yeah, that could work. He’d get everyone in the same room, drop the bi-bomb and let them sort it all out. If Dad or Kate said anything Mom, Sam and Charlie would tear them apart. But that wasn’t a good thing. He’d hate to be the thing that caused a rift in the family. Sam and their father had a tense relationship on a good day, but still. He’d feel like hell if he caused their next fight. No, it was best to do this one-on-one. It was his sexuality, his issue. He needed to keep as few people from fighting about it as he could. Holy hell, this was going to be a pain in the ass.

“Honey, are you alright?” Mary asked.

He’d stopped eating mid-bite, burger still in the air in front of his face. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“If you’re stressing about this…”

“No, I’m just trying to figure out how to tell everyone is all.”

“You know there’s no rush, right?” Mary pushed her empty salad bowl away from her and folded her hands on the table. Dean set his burger back on the plate.

“Yeah, well it’s going to happen eventually, right? I don’t exactly like the idea of sneaking around with Cas. He deserves better than that.”

“I understand that, but you don’t have to do it all immediately. Give yourself some time.”

Dean nodded and pushed the burger away. His stomach was too busy with nerves for him to be hungry.

Mary looked over the burger then back up to him, the soft lines around her mouth and her brow deepening. “You sure you’re alright.”

“Yes Mom, I’m okay.”

“Alright. If you want me to I could tell Bobby. It might take some of the pressure off.”

That it would. It’d be nice to have one less person to have to sit down with. “Yeah, okay.”

“Alright. And you know that if you need to talk or want to talk I’m always here for you.”

“I know.”

The waitress came back on brought the check. Mary insisted on paying the whole thing and Dean didn’t stop her. She pulled him into a hug in the parking lot, rubbing circles on his back. He rested his chin on her shoulder.

“I’ll always love you, sweetheart,” she said as she pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I love you, too, Mom.”

He didn’t really want to leave but he had to. He had work in an hour and he had to get home and get changed. There was no time for a nap, which sucked because he felt like he could sleep for a week.

Work sucked more than usual that day. He wasn’t in the mood to play happy with anyone. It wasn’t that he was trying to be cold, it was just too damn draining. It definitely reflected in his tips; 15% if he was lucky. And it was slow, which wasn’t unusual for a Tuesday night but it made the night drag. By the time his break arrived he was sure he’d cleaned the same vacant table half a dozen times.

He sat out behind the diner for his break. Usually, he’d sit in his car, but tonight it just felt right to sit against the wall and stare at the stars. He wished he’d ever paid attention to constellations. The big dipper and little dipper were easy to point out but everything else was lost on him. How the Greeks or whoever decided that there were specific patterns in a bunch of dots was beyond him.

“You alright there, brother?”

Dean’s head jerked up to find Benny standing against the wall next to him. He didn’t even hear the door open.

“Yeah, Benny, I’m fine.”

Benny gestured to the ground and Dean nodded. Benny lowered himself to the ground and sat with his elbow resting on his bent knee. “You don’t look fine to me,” he said.

“Just a draining day.” Dean scrubbed his face with both hands.

“If you need to unload, I’m here.”

“My break is only fifteen minutes.”

“You forget you’re talking to the boss.”

Dean smiled and pulled his knees up towards his chest. “I dunno, man. I’ve got a lot to think about right now and it’s putting me in a funk.”

“It wouldn’t have anything to do with that mystery lady you’re not telling me about it would it?”

Dean gulped. Benny’s lips were pulled up in a knowing smile. He nudged Dean with his shoulder, still smiling. Dean sighed, letting his shoulders fall. Might as well bite this bullet right now. “Something like that,” he said.

“Well don’t hold out on me now.”

“It’s not exactly…it’s not a mystery lady.”

Benny’s eyebrows arched up at that, but his smile didn’t fade.

“I’m dating a guy.” Dean managed to choke that one out without his voice trembling.

“And what’s he doing that’s got you all mixed up?”

Dean wasn’t exactly sure what noise he made at that, but it was somewhere between a squeak “eh?” and squawked “wha?”

Benny’s thick, rumbling laugh rumbled through the empty lot. “I said, what’s he doing that’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“You’re not surprised or weirded out or anything?”

“Nah,” Benny said, patting Dean’s knee, “Well, maybe a little surprised but it’s not like it matters. I don’t care who you date as long as they don’t have three dead husbands or wives or whatever.”

Dean smiled cradled his hand chin in his hand. “Well, that’s it then. He’s not doing anything. He’s great, actually. I just, I told my mom today. She was fine with it. It’s everyone else…”

“What about everyone else?”

“I don’t know how they’re gonna take it.”

“Screw how they take it. It’s not their relationship.”

“Easier said than done, Benny.”

Benny hummed sympathetically. “Hey, why don’t you take the rest of the night off? We’ll get that beer you promised me.”

Dean shrugged. “Sure, what the hell?” Dean rose to his feet and Benny followed him. “I just gotta record my tips and let Alfie know,” Dean said, putting his hand on the door knob.

“Just one thing I need to know, Dean,” Benny said from behind him.

“What’s that?”

“Is it Cas?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Benny smiled and slapped his hand down on Dean’s shoulder. “Thank god,” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna tell you, but that boy eye-fucks you enough to be considered downright obscene. You do too, just so you know. But maybe you two’ll mellow out a little bit now.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who have left comments and kudos and to all of you who have been following the story. You guys make my day. :)


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